“Bless the Broken Road”: Dating Churn and the Prolonged Pre‑Relationship Stage

• In Event: Family Formation and Dynamics

Abstract

Sociological research on family formation has largely focused on socially and institutionally legible milestones such as cohabitation and marriage, while giving less attention to the period that precedes, or never reaches, such commitments. Drawing on 40 in-depth interviews with single adults between ages 22 and 45, this study introduces the concept of the “dating churn”: an extended pre-relationship stage in which individuals engage in dating practices that do not necessarily result in committed partnerships. Participants described going on numerous first and second dates, cycling through periods of engagement and withdrawal, and finding themselves back at square one. Central to this experience is the non-cumulative nature of dating labor, where investment does not translate into progress or returns. These findings present the pre-relationship dating stage as an increasingly consequential site within which contemporary family trajectories are organized.

Author

• Zehra Yildirim, Harvard University