The Bio-Tenure Clock: Stability-Change in (Work)life

• In Event: Ghosts, Clocks, and (Re)Production: Strands in the Tapestry of Stability/Change in Motherhood

Abstract

Though I cannot say when or how the first thread broke loose, the
unraveling of my marriage accelerated when I was 32. Divorced four years
later, I took stock of both relational and career options. For many
years, I had felt relatively certain that I would never have children. I
didn’t feel drawn to motherhood. I had other interests, other ways I
wanted to devote my time. In the wake of a grueling divorce, it occurred
to me that perhaps this “certainty” stemmed as much from the depth of
connection to my husband as from my own wishes. Perhaps I would
co-create a different connection with a different partner.
Professionally, I had earned tenure at a liberal arts college but felt
ready for different challenges. As I applied for assistant professor
jobs at Research I institutions, I considered that giving up tenure also
potentially meant closing the door on motherhood. I knew that women
balanced writing books and weaning babies. But I was 36; I had a divorce
to grieve; I hadn’t dated anyone new since 1993. Did it make sense to
start the tenure clock over as I entered the final years of my
fertility?

Author

• Lisa Tillmann, Rollins College